jetbridge. kansas city, mo. 2006.

Originally uploaded by eyetwist.

Better stories about Toronto than this one forthcoming. Toronto was really quite amazing. The flight home: not.

  • approx 6-6:30pm EST Sunday: board plane for Dallas

  • approx 7-7:30pm EST: informed of malfunctioning door on plane. change planes

  • approx 8-8:30pm EST: informed of malfunctioning computer on new plane. plane “powered down” and then, apparently, “back up” (judge for yourself if these are proper uses of quotation marks). plane apparently runs Microsoft.

  • approx 8:30pm EST-11pm CMT: fly from Toronto airport to the general vicinity of the Dallas-Ft. Worth airport. fall into holding pattern somewhere above Waco.

  • 12am CMT Monday: run low on fuel. land in Houston. yes, Houston.

  • 12-3am CMT: wait in line in Houston terminal for hotel voucher, flight coupon, and new flight bookings for Monday morning. there were only approx 60 ppl on the flight. we were about 3/4ths back in the line. you do the math.

  • 3:30-6:45am CMT: sleep. arrangements dramatically different than those enjoyed in Toronto. additionally, people are noticeably more mentally challenged (see also previous bullet).

  • 7:30am CMT: check in for flight to Dallas.

  • 10ish: arrive, Dallas.