Social Media: You're Doin' It Wrong

It started with a couple few tweets. Which I can’t find. But I complained because I bought some bad beer.

Then I got this message on Facebook:

Hi Daniel,

Lennie from Saint Arnold here. I saw your tweet and wanted to send you a DM but you aren’t following us. Sorry you had a bad experience with the DR9. I suppose it is one of those love it or hate it kind of beers. We have been lucky though that, so far, the response has been overwhelmingly positive. If you are interested at all, here is what some other folks are saying about it:

You asked what we put in it. The answer is: pumpkin, pumpkin pie spices, lot’s of chocolate malt, hops, yeast, and water. Our goal was the make the best pumpkin beer ever, sorry you don’t agree. We aren’t aware of another Pumpkin Imperial Stout out in the market.

We won’t be able to give you your, “goddamn $$” back but if you ever see that we are doing an event in the DFW area please stop by and we’ll be happy to buy you a couple beers. I’m sure there is someone that would love to take the DR9 off your hands.

Hope the rest of your holidays are better that last night. Hope we didn’t ruin them.

Cheers, Lennie

So I replied:

If the 6 pack was a normal price, it would have been, “Eh, another Saint Arnold (or any other beer) I don’t like.” (The Lawnmower is also horrible, but more in a Bud Light way, and I didn’t even ever buy it to try it, someone had a keg of it at a party one time.) But the Amber I LOVE and have spent $100’s (probably approaching $1000’s) on, the Christmas is also quite good and I have had it on a number of occasions already. I’ve had the Brown from a keg and it is rather good although from a bottle it was not worth returning to (but didn’t offend me either).

The trouble is when things are so bi-polar. Amber is literally my favorite beer to have from a bottle. This Divine 9 is truly the most awful beer to pass my lips. It’s like some kind of bait and switch with you people. It’s like a bad relationship. You’re like a woman who’s always pregnant but with no baby at the end of it.

I’ve had pumpkin ales before. This had no hint of pumpkin. The reason I asked if it had anise (or some relative herb) in it was because it tasted exactly like beer with a shot of Becherovka in it. And I like Becherovka, but I’ve never put it in my beer. Maybe it is the high alcohol content? Except I’ve had other high % beers before and enjoyed them, even. Maybe it is that combined with the spices? I don’t know, all I know is my experience was so bad it left the realm of the subjective.

I’ll tell you what, tonight I’m going to pour a bottle into a glass and put a “goshdarn” (better?) thermometer in it and check on it every 5 minutes until it is exactly 50 degrees and then have a sip. But let’s just say my expectations are low.

For what it’s worth, I’ve already had free St Arnold at an event, so we’re even already. That’s how I got introduced to the Amber and the Brown. And since then, some St Arnold’s employee’s kid has had her teeth professionally straightened. You’re welcome.

And I will probably come back to the Amber after a break. I’ll stand there looking at the selection and I’ll hate myself for it but I’ll grab the Amber. Then I’ll re-schedule with my therapist and ask her why I like to be in abusive relationships.

PS. It would be “lots of chocolate malt” not “lot’s of chocolate malt,” unless you meant “Lot’s chocolate malt,” which might be the problem, I think he was more of an expert in the savory flavors.

To which he replied:

Wow. You are one passionate and flowery dude.