Whenever I need perspective I go find this photograph. It is the greatest regret of my life, leaving behind for even one second the daughter who would one month later be taken from me.
When I go to work these days Lucy says “Come back. Miss you.” and leans in plaintively for a kiss.
When I get home from work these days Lucy says “Yay! Daddy home! Best Daddy ever!”
In fact she does this whole thing where she’ll exchange endearing exclamations with us:
Best Mommy ever!
Best Lucy ever!
No, best Mommy EVER!
She plays drums and Paper Jamz guitar.
She says “Baby Milo in Mommy’s tummy.”
She eats dinner by 5:30 most days, which means I don’t share that meal with my family, a first in our many years of existence. I don’t know how to fix that. I have responsibilities and stuff, not the least of which is providing for my family. But Lucy and I will often get about a half an hour together in the mornings. I get home from dropping off Penn at school and she intercepts me on my way to the computer or shower and says, “Come play my room.” Who am I to disobey?