11:26. wait, 11:26? what the? I have to get ready for my day and DO something! I’ve been really down this morning. Fear. The economy. Our future is up in the air as it is already. Faith. Need to find some but it was shakey to start with. Forget about it now.

I need to find myself some encouragement. I played guitar this morning. “Crazy” by Seal. “Sing” by Travis. “Everything’s Not Lost” by Coldplay. Now all three of those records are in the player. It’s only life support, though. I’m still in a coma.

What drug do you suggest?

Started reading “Invisible Monsters” by Chuck P. last night. It’s pretty cool.

I also have a book on storytelling that I want to work through for my project.

I think we have made $0.00 in our fundraising efforts, and now I’m telling people to give to the tragedy relief charities instead of us. But I still don’t know if we could make it as artists/creators/whatever.

The pictures of the people in the WTC climbing out of the windows and jumping still haunt me. How bad must have it been up there for them to choose to jump? I can’t imagine. Better to be in the plane than in the building on those floors that weren’t completely destroyed immediately.

The thing that really devastates me is that when you see them moving there, out of the window with smoke bellowing out of them, you realize that those are real people just like us. They were alive with life, hope, and love one minute and gone the next. This morning I had a day-mare about being the person in first class they said had their throat slit by the hijackers. I’ve been in first class a couple of times in my business flights because I was bumped up for one reason or another, and every time I feel so lucky and happy that God smiled on me that day, with a decent airplane meal and some leg and arm room. I would say I can’t imagine, but I did imagine, being drug from my seat and having my throat slit before I had a chance to even defend myself. I’m a big guy, but I’ve never been attacked before and I have no idea how I would respond. I would probly be so shocked I wouldn’t immediately defend myself if the attacker was quick enough.

The weekend before all this I saw the Mexican (I give it **; not worth it) and Brad Pitt takes a gun on an airplane by putting it in tin foil and putting it in a lunch box. Please tell me this is absolute fiction.

How are they going to train these new “air marshalls?” What if somebody is holding someone in front of them with a knife to their throat? In that small space, what are you going to do? And I am personally not going to feel more safe knowing there are actually guns on board. What if someone gets them away from the marshal?

Ok I have to stop. I have to get positive.

I have to do something. Goodbye.