the dialog

Bottom line–I’m afraid. I’m afraid of what other people would think, have thought, are thinking. I’m afraid of your thoughts, your opinions. I seek your praise and your love and your adoration and your admiration but I fear even more your hate and your condescension and your laughter …and I fear absolutely the most, to the point of a frozen death stuck here in my tracks, not that going into the studio for the sake of going into the studio and for no other return than that would break the Miller family bank, but that the world would say, “What a waste,” and “Look at that poor boy,” and “What was he thinking.” I fear that once again nobody will care about the thing that is produced, that the Immediacy, yes, even that, will vanish, completely washed over by the imminent unrecognizability, the lostness of it all, the only people being the few that I give it to and the few that actually buy it–my most proudest project of all. Stacked up in the not-so-metaphorical garage of failure once again.


“Innocence has been lost.”

“The apple has been eaten.”

“God is going to be PISSED!”